I thought we should get straight to the point. The secret to happiness. Here are 6 things you don’t know about how to be happy.
1. OMG! Yes!
Your organismic self matters at least as much as your orgasmic self. The what-a-what? Organismic self. This is the part of you that strives to live as it would in a world of acceptance and non-judgment. Unlike the self concept, the organismic self doesn’t want to live feeling bogged down by what other people impose on it in terms of values. That doesn’t mean it’s completely self-centred and will run amok. It just wants to be itself and know it is loveable without meeting certain conditions of beauty or intelligence or social standing or … the list goes on.
We have to live in the real world, of course, but try to listen out for the voice of your organismic self. See what it wants. What it would want if only you allowed it to dream. And then do what you can to make its dreams come true.
2. Toilet Rolls Are The Secret To A Happy Life
This is probably a thing nobody ever told you. But if you want to be happy choose your toilet rolls wisely. Okay this is not about toilet rolls per se. It’s about building moments of joy into your everyday life. What do you mean Marie Kondo told you that already? Well forget about the moments of joy then. Let’s just get back to the toilet paper.
I like the toilet paper from Who Gives A Crap. It’s cheerful, reminds me not to
give a shit care what others think and I’m fairly confident that I must be personally responsible for saving at least a couple of penguins by cutting out some plastic from my life. I LOVE penguins.
3. Happiness is one part adult to four parts inner child
Adulting successfully can make you happy. You know the kind of thing we’re talking about. The smug satisfaction of packed lunches, a beautifully clean flat, a budget that even the Bank of England would admire. But here’s the truth. The advantage of adulting as successfully and efficiently as you can is to give your inner child time to play.
Of course, our inner children all had different dreams. And those dreams probably included aspects of adulting. Cooking in little kitchens, for example, or playing at our dream jobs. But the thing the inner child does so well is finding the joy in even the most mundane task. You can call it mindfulness if you want but that’s a bit serious for me. I prefer to call it putting my inner child in charge.
4. The right therapist is worth what they charge
The right therapist is worth what they charge. The wrong therapist is worth nothing. Choose wisely. This is even more important than your toilet roll options. If you don’t get a choice and the therapy you are given doesn’t work then remember that doesn’t mean you’re unfixable and it doesn’t mean you can never be happy.
5. You Deserve To Be Happy
Hopefully you do know this but if you don’t then cover every inch of your wall in post-it notes adorned with affirming messages. Well, okay, you don’t have to do that. But do try to be kind to yourself.
I know you might be thinking I don’t know you and wondering how can I be so sure you deserve happiness. And it’s true. I don’t know you. I don’t know what it is that you may feel precludes you from deserving to wish for this. But I do know you’re more likely to be a force for good in the world if you can act from a place of being kind to yourself. So I rest my case.
P.S. If you think the post-it note idea is genius, I have to warn you it takes a LONG time. Here is video evidence. Plus think about all the paper and remember my quest to save the penguins. 🐧 On the other hand, if this will help you believe you are loveable then you are worth it.
6. The ULTIMATE secret
Embrace misery. Seriously. No one can be happy all the time. So give yourself some slack. Befriend your unhappiness. Ask it what it needs. Treat it with kindness and respect. If you ignore it or try to make it go away, it’s likely to kick back. So show it some compassion and gently introduce it to the concept of boundaries. You’ll feel better or at least not as bad.